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5 Rules for Choosing Your Bridesmaids and Groomsmen

While the two of you are the most important people at the wedding, half the fun is being able to plan and celebrate your wedding day with your nearest and dearest friends by your side as bridesmaids and groomsmen. While you might think its as simple as just grabbing your friends, assigning them a bridal title, and calling it a day, there are a few other things you’ll want to consider before you make the final selections on your wedding party people.

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We have five key points to consider to help you choose your bridesmaids and groomsmen...ensuring your wedding party is one for the ages.


Start With Siblings

Including your siblings is the perfect way to start choosing your bridesmaids and groomsmen. If they’re much younger, you may prefer to have them as ushers, junior bridemaids or junior grooomsmen. However, if they are close to your age give them the full-blown honor. And there’s nothing stopping a groom from making his sister a groomswoman or even a bride from making her brother a bridesman. If they are important to you, include them!

Weddings & Events by Raina - Photo by Ivory Door Studio

Emphasize Reliability

While you may not need your bridesmaids or groomsmen to participate too much during the planning of your wedding (because you hired our amazing team to handle all that for you), there will be moments when you’ll need to know you can count on them. If your friend rarely calls you back or is perpetually late when you have plans, they may not be the right person for the job, especially with bridesmaid dress order deadlines and tight timelines the day of your wedding. Instead, lean toward friends who you know will answer your calls, reply to your emails, show up when you need them to (or a few minutes early), and probably be more prepared than you.

Weddings & Events by Raina - Photo by Sarah Elizabeth Photography & Film

Consider Personalities

Before you send out those “Will You Be My Bridesmaid?” gifts, think about how your wedding party will all get along. This doesn’t mean everyone has to be the best of friends, but if one person on your list has a an abrasive, or stronger personality and tends to rub people the wrong way, that’s definitely wedding drama you’ll want to avoid. Instead, aim for a group of bridesmaids and groomsmen who are friendly, easy going and can transition easily between groups to quickly cross “fights between friends” off of your list of things to worry about.

Weddings & Events by Raina - Photo by Ivory Door Studio

Be Mindful of Budget

We all know being a bridesmaid or groomsman can really get expensive. Even if you’re paying for their accommodations or chipping in for their dresses or suits, between flights, multiple gifts, the bachelor and bachelorette parties...that bill can really start to add up. If you know a friend is in a tough spot financially, call them and talk it over before making the official ask. Let them know you’d love to include them, but also have a few alternative ways for them to be involved if joining the wedding party might be too expensive. Close friends make fantastic readers, give great toasts at the rehearsal dinner, and could also hand out programs or serve as ushers or greeters at the ceremony.

Weddings & Events by Raina - Photo by Rachel Oxford Collective

Think About Feelings

Sometimes, having fewer bridesmaids or groomsmen is the easiest way to make sure no one’s feelings are hurt. If your choice is between having just your sister and your childhood bestie stand beside you or expanding into two or three friend groups and ten or more bridesmaids, the smaller group could save you a lot of stress in deciding who does and doesn’t make the cut. On the other hand, if you’re committed to the idea of a huge wedding party, and there’s one friend on the fringe, you might be better off including one more than leaving them out.



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