Becoming Bridezilla? Banish the Beast!
10 Ways to Tell If You're Becoming a Bridezilla
By definition, a Bridezilla is, “a woman whose behavior in planning her wedding is regarded as obsessive or intolerably demanding.” Do you really want to go there?
We understand that the stress of planing a wedding, especially with out a professional wedding planner at the helm can turn even the most calm and grounded of people into a not-so-lovely version of themselves. Between budgeting and decision making and essentially planning the biggest day of your life, emotions can run high. Fear not! We are sharing our top ten tips to check yourself before you wreck yourself. So, go on an ditch the title of “bridezilla”.
1. You find yourself snapping at the people you love most.
Honestly, stress really can bring out anyone’s ugly side. If you make sure you find productive ways to relax and recharge instead of unloading on those around you this will certainly help alleviate the issue. We have several ways we can assist with this from personal trainers who will help you get fit to yoga classes and massage therapists who will even come to you for private sessions!
2. You care more about the seating chart than your soon-to-be husband.
We know that planning all the details can become overwhelming quickly, so having a professional planner by your side can certainly help with this. However, whether you hire an expert or not, try to keep your perspective in check.
3. You begin to obsess over finding the absolute perfect shade of rose quartz. Not pink, not blush, not dusty rose – rose quartz.
Take a breather – any shade of pink is pretty and at the end of the day, all anyone will remember is that it was light pink, dark pink or hot pink. We think they are all lovely and if you choose to ombre them, even more so!
4. You treat your bridesmaids like employees, not friends.
You might have final say on the bridesmaids’ dress or have a list of duties for them to complete, but make sure your girls feel entirely loved and appreciated through the entire planning process. Be sure to read our blog from January 2017 on "How to Keep Your Bridesmaids Happy". Trust us, they can make or break your wonderful wedding experience.
5. When it comes to the wedding, money is no object. Ever.
If your wedding dreams are causing serious financial strain, take a deep breath, a step back and talk it out. Are there certain things that are must haves and other items you can live without? Perhaps you can cut back on your guest list? If you have a wedding planner they may even be able to get you some great deals with vendors they frequently work with to save you some wiggle room in the budget.
6. You don’t involve your groom in the planning process.
He might not be as interested or invested in the planning details as you are, but remember it’s his Big Day as well. Be sure to include him and then listen to him. His opinion is one to value and consider.
7. A good night’s sleep has become a distant memory.
It’s a fact: no sleep = stress. And stress = potential bridezilla territory. If it is wedding stress insomnia that is causing your issue, sit down with your planner and make a list of all the items you are worried about. They are surely equipped to take many of these items off your hands allowing you to relax. If this still doesn't help, exercise always does. Wear yourself out with a workout and you are guaranteed to get a good night's sleep.
8. Pinterest is the only site in your browser history.
You know we love Pinterest in a serious way, but there’s also a time to unwind and Step. Away. From. The. Laptop.
9. You have every vendor on speed-dial.
You hired your wedding planner for a reason. While it’s completely reasonable to keep in contact with your dream team, also remember to trust your wedding planner and their vision. Give them some creative freedom. They’re wedding professionals, after all. Their only goal is to make your event great!
10. Special moments turn into meltdowns.
We totally get that wedding planning isn’t always a walk in the park, but if every highlight is ending in an ugly cry, it’s time to take a breather and reevaluate.
9 Tips to Banish Bridezilla
Bridezillas strike terror in the hearts of wedding planners, bridesmaids, and even the groom. Otherwise gentle and loving, brides who wander into Bridezilla territory are wildly unforgettable. But never fear! We are here with our top tips to help keep you safe from possession by The Evil Spirit of Bridezilla!
1. Set a manageable budget.
Never start a marriage in debt, especially wedding debt. Sit down together and create a working plan for your wedding budget and be sure you stick to it. Always list expenses according to priority. By budgeting and hiring a wedding planner they can get money saving deals with vendors that you, as a non-wedding professional would not normally have access to.
Wearing a wedding gown that costs a few hundred dollars or a few thousand dollars is also a great way to adjust your budget. If you aren't wearing the one in the magazine, it does not mean your wedding day is ruined. There are many other elements in your wedding that can make up for the dress, like the cake, food, or your surprise gift from the groom!
Tip: Just be very careful when ordering online. If the dress for the price seems like a deal that is just too good to be true, it very well might be. Do your research and look for online reviews prior to taking the plunge.
2. It is always okay to ask for help.
Marvel and DC Comics have yet to create a superhero bride. Never be afraid to ask for advice or a helping hand when it comes to decorations or invitations or whatever is making you crazy at the moment. Some brides take the load off themselves by hiring a wedding planner to take care of anything from a full plan where they handle every little detail of the wedding, a month-of planner to tie up all the loose ends and pull it all together or a day-of planner to just ensure all your hard work doesn't go unnoticed.
Imperative: Asking for help does not mean you’re weak. You have enough other things to attend to like your career and of course, your life. Do not let the stress of planning your wedding eat you alive.
3. Have a trusted support system.
Real friends who truly support you can ease the pressure exponentially. Let these good friends tell you the truth and give them permission to issue a wake-up call if you’re moving too close to the line between simply stressed-out bride and fire-breathing Bridezilla. Be kind to them when they come to your about this. They are only doing as you asked. Then, hear them out. Especially if they’re clearly less than thrilled with your choice of bridesmaids dresses. If you have relatives, for example close cousins who are like sisters to you, delegate some tasks to them! They know you better than anyone else in the world and would be thrilled to be included in the planning of your big day. Keeping your loved ones hands-on will only strengthen the bond with your family. Working together almost always guarantees a harmonious wedding.
4. Your bride/groom is your partner for life.
He or she proposed to you, so the wedding is about the two of you. Do not set unrealistic demands for your soon-to-be husband or wife. They already have enough stress of their own. No one is perfect, and sometimes your better half simply cannot cope with all the minuscule details you have envisioned for the big day. Stay relaxed and loving with your future spouse and do not make every day a struggle with the person you plan to marry. “For better or for worse” does not mean they have to tolerate a Bridezilla.
5. Leave room for adjustment in all aspects.
Having a “perfect” wedding does not require following every single tiny detail to the letter. There will be some flaws you’ll just have to tolerate. “My day, my way” will get you nowhere fast. If the florist doesn’t have enough of the exact shade of roses as originally planned, or there was a sudden frost, and you can’t have freesia, accept the most reasonable alternative you’re offered. In addition to lessening the stress, you might even save some money from what you could otherwise perceive as a “disaster.” Look at the “flaws” inherent in planning your wedding as creative opportunities and silver linings.
6. Lower your expectations just a little.
Brides whose dream is to recreate a celebrity or royal wedding should not expect every detail to match...unless you are in reality a princess with your own kingdom. Dreams exist for inspiration, not replication. If you set your expectations higher than anyone else’s, you will definitely have a problem. Lowering your sights just a bit will take a lot of the pressure off. No one expects you to throw an extravagant, expensive wedding. They are all there just to celebrate your love. A celebration with close friends and loved ones that truly reflects the two of you and your personalities is so much more meaningful and a celebration that’s memorable for the atmosphere of love you created!
7. Stay healthy inside and out.
Good health makes for a light and happy frame of mind especially during that crunch time a few days before the wedding. Develop or maintain a proper diet with lots of exercise and relaxing activities for a happy, sound mind and body. Staying fit keeps a bride safe from extra expenses especially when it comes to that last dress fitting a few weeks before the big day. Watch your weight but relax and watch your attitude more. The wedding will go on as planned. Your bridesmaids, your groom, and all your guests will remember you most for your beautiful smile.
For fitness ideas to be found locally, be sure to read our blogs from July 2016 "Fit For A Bride - BeachBody Fitness", "Simply Yoga", "Brides Get Buff at UFit" and "Sweating for the Wedding at H30 Aquatics."
8. Stick to a reasonable planning timeline.
Timetables make planning a lot less of a hassle these days. Your planner will keep a working calendar for you and even make it easily accessible to you to create a feasible game plan. And remember: No plan is ever followed to the letter, so always, always build in some flexibility.
9. Make use of technology.
Nearly everything nowadays is done via computer or the internet so make the most of what’s efficient and available. Post your gift registry on your wedding website so guests will have easy access. Technology also relieves some of the stress and anxiety during the planning stage, so grab any opportunity you can. Social media makes it much easier for you to communicate with your planner, vendors and guests especially when it comes to serious money-related matters like confirming just how many that you have invited have RSVP’d and that they’ll attend your wedding.
One last note:
A little stress is healthy. Too much is dangerous. Once more for the record: No wedding is perfect so hang in there and roll with the punches. Keep your cool, stay open-minded, and the Evil Spirit of Bridezilla will darken neither your doorway nor your nuptials!