• Raina

Even If a Wedding Is Canceled, You Should Still Give a Gift

A wedding I was invited to has been postponed...when do I purchase a gift?

What if the couple opted for a virtual wedding or elopement instead of a bigger event?

How much should you spend on a gift if we’re not attending the wedding?

Here’s everything you need to know about wedding gift etiquette during a pandemic.

Do I have to send a gift for a virtual wedding?

Wedding gifts are often viewed as an exchange between couple and guest. The couple feeds and entertains you, so you give a gift to “cover your plate” as it were. This is actually not how wedding gift giving works. Gifts are given as a symbol of your love and friendship. They are items to help the couple start their new life together. This applies whether the couple is hosting an in-person wedding or a virtual ceremony. So if you’re attending a virtual wedding, send a gift to the happy couple as a show of your support.

I was invited to a wedding that got postponed due to COVID.

Do I wait until the new date to send a gift?

Do I have to send a gift for both the original date and the new date?

One gift per couple is all that is necessary. We do recommend sending it around the time of their original wedding date, however. This way you will be giving the couple something to celebrate during what’s sure to be an emotional time for them. It will also help them start their life together as they originally planned. That said, you do not have to purchase another gift for the postponed wedding date, but a handwritten card is certainly a thoughtful gesture.

The wedding was cancelled and the couple hasn’t announced if they’re rescheduling. Do I still send a gift?

They are likely trying to figure out their next move. They may be planning to elope, or they might opt to host an intimate minimony. We still recommend sending a gift timed to their original wedding date as a sign of support. They will certainly appreciate the gesture as they try their best to put new plans in motion.

I sent a gift and the wedding was postponed soon after.

Can I ask for my gift back?

Gifts are traditionally returned in situations where the wedding is entirely called off, but that’s not the case here. If they still intend to get married, then don't ask for your gift back. In many cases, couples have been forced to alter plans. This might mean an elopement, a virtual wedding a minimony, or simply postponing to a later date. Even though circumstances have changed, you’re still celebrating their upcoming marriage, so let them keep the gift.

I was invited to a couple’s small wedding, but decided not to attend.

Do I still need to send a gift?

Yes, proper wedding gift etiquette dictates that while you don’t have to give a gift if you’re not attending a wedding, it’s still the polite thing to do...especially if you are close with the happy couple.

The couple decided to have a minimony and I wasn’t invited.

Should I still send a gift?

Many couples have been forced to make severe cutbacks to their guest lists in an effort to keep everyone safe. If a couple opts to have a minimony and you don't make the cut, don’t be insulted. We are quite sure that this was an incredibly difficult decision for them to make. Appreciate that the couple is taking your safety seriously. All that said, if you were invited or received a save-the-date to their original event, you should still give a gift. They truly did want you there to celebrate their union with them. Getting a gift shows your support during this difficult time.

How much should I spend on a gift if I’m not attending the wedding?

The average wedding guest spends approximately $120 on a wedding gift, however, if you’re not attending the wedding, you can certainly spend less. If you’re very close with the couple, though, you might consider spending what you normally would have, even if you won’t be present for their nuptials. Either way, your best bet is to take a look at their wedding registry and select a gift at a price point you’re comfortable with.

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