What not to say to unwed singles
Attending a wedding as a single guest can truly be a blast! You are free to mingle with all the sexy singles and tear up the dance floor with your friends without having to worry about appeasing your plus one. However, on the flip side, being an unwed single can leave you open to rude, invasive questions and socially awkward moments that you would much rather forget. (For example, being the only one at the table during a slow song.) So, we have these 11 phrases for coupled folks to avoid when making small talk with singles.
1. "You're always a bridesmaid, never the bride."
This person deserves to be taken out back and slapped silly. What are you? A fortune teller who can look into the sad and lonely future and know what's in store?
2. "You better make sure you catch that bouquet!"
This is essentially the wedding version of the internet chain letter. We don't believe in wedding mythology. Not to mention, trying to wrestle 70 other women over a bouquet is probably not how you pictured spending your evening. If you catch the bouquet all you will get is a lovely memento of your friend's special day.
3. "So, where's your date?"
Seriously?? This one is not only incredibly rude but it forces the single guest to defend themselves and their (non) marital status. This is the insensitive equivalent of asking "Why don't you have a boyfriend/girlfriend right now?" For all you know they could be in the restroom.
4. "It's a dry wedding."
No! Please no!! Help!
When you are without a date to a wedding, whether by choice or relationship status, alcohol immediately becomes your plus one. Jack Daniels is my date...or perhaps Jim Beam. He's my knight in shining armor.
5. "You and my (insert random relative here) would be so cute together!"
We are also willing to bet that they wouldn't appreciate their grandmother setting them up on a random blind date with a stranger they met at someone else's wedding.
6. "We've sat you at the kids' table."
Dear brides and grooms everywhere: Single people are not children. Deliberately choosing to sit them with the children is incredibly insulting. It sends the message that they are either not as mature as their coupled up counterparts or that they were simply an afterthought in your seating arrangements. By seating singles with the kiddos ensures that your wedding will live on in single guests' stories as "the worst wedding ever attended." Do not do this. Ever.
7. Beyonce's "Single Ladies" comes on...don't ever say, "Hey! That's your jam!"
Thanks. Really, thank you for pointing out once again that I am single. Having said that, I decide what my jam is.
8. "Are you here by yourself?"
Yes. Please, by all means, draw even more attention to the fact that I am here solo.
9. "The look of pity."
Sometimes, the offending person doesn't even have to open their mouth to be utterly offensive. It's just in the eyes. Look away, then! Literally no one came to this wedding, least of all the singles, to be pitied.
10. "Sorry, we ran out of pigs in a blanket."
This is just upsetting no matter what your relationship or marital status may be. It is even more distressing to those who may only be acquainted with the bride and groom and need to look busy during the cocktail hour.
11. "Doesn't this wedding just make you want to find The One?"
People are single for all different reasons. Maybe they are totally content by themselves and have no plans for a relationship. Maybe they are currently going through a rough breakup. Maybe they have been on more crappy online dates than they can count and the thought of going out with yet another mediocre OkCupid profile writer is more than they can stand.
Whatever the reason, it IS actually possible to be super happy for the newlyweds without making this situation a manifesto for a single person's life.