If you think you will be all alone with your wedding planner when it comes down to some of the nitty gritty portions of planning your wedding to get it all done, think again! In some cases you may have your girl squad who are more than willing to lend a hand. You may even be lucky enough that your mother and your fiancee's mother want to help you and your planner conquer your long list of wedding to-dos. However, if you are starting to field calls from your fiancee's mother, asking you questions about what she can do to help, instead of giving her the brush off by telling her know you will let her know when something comes up, prepare yourself now with a task list she can tackle! This way, she won't feel that you don't want her involved which may lead to her doing wedding tasks on her own that you really didn't want her to do at all.
Though her role is secondary to your mother, your future mother in law can still make a solid contribution to your wedding prep, especially if you are only hiring a wedding planner to handle the final month-of or day-of planning. This will not only take some stress off you, it is a solid way to get your relationship with your future mother in law off to an excellent start!
To get you started, here is a list of a dozen duties you can pass along to her to help you out.
1. Figure out the vendor tips.
Though tips aren't mandatory, they are customary; they're also the way to acknowledge anyone who went above and beyond what was expected. If you're not much of a numbers person, ask his mom to do the math.
2. Stock the getting-ready room.
She can put her motherly instinct to good use by making sure there's plenty of drinks and snacks on hand. This is so that the bride and her girls don't pass out from hunger or dehydration as they're getting hair and makeup done and getting dressed, which will take hours. No need for heavy, sleep-inducing foods — better choices are fresh fruit, vegetables and dip, and light sandwiches. Also, always make sure to have lots of straws on hand so you won't ruin your lipstick while staying hydrated.
3. Put the wedding-day emergency bag together.
A good wedding planner always has an arsenal of items for any eventuality, however, this will make her feel super helpful when someone ends up needing a band-aid. We recommend items sch as aspirin, tampons, needle and thread...these are just a few of the items she'll need to gather. The bag could be customized so it's based on the wedding's location or time of day.
4. Assembling the favors.
From bedazzling the gift tags to tying bags with ribbon...the favors can be labor-intensive. Her help will be especially needed if the bridesmaids, traditionally the favor wranglers, can't help out. If you're handling the work too, it'll give you time to chat one-on-one.
5. Picking up out-of-towners.
If many guests will be flying in for the wedding, several drivers will be needed at different times and days to fetch them. So if she's willing and able, ask her to put on her chauffeur cap, fill the gas tank and head to the airport. There's a wedding on the way!
6. Welcome Bags.
You'll want someone to take on the task of getting welcome bags put together for out of town guests. You can coordinate a theme with her and even let her know the kinds of items you'd like in the bags. Then, as you're scrambling to do things the last few weeks before the wedding, your mother-in-law-to-be will have the guests' bags under control.
7. Help with the seating chart.
This task is super important to get your future mother in law on board to help out with, especially if she's inviting a lot of her friends and family members to the wedding. She can provide you with the insight you need to make sure guests are sitting where they'll feel the most comfortable.
8. Co-Plan the bridal shower.
Your bridal party will be a special pre-wedding celebration for you and all your girls. If your maid of honor or your mother want to plan this, ask if the mother of the groom can be a co-planner too.
9. Help get RSVPs.
Having trouble getting the grooms side of the family to send in their RSVP cards? Sometimes all it takes to know if a guest is coming or not is a quick phone call or text message, which is easy when it comes directly from your future mother in law.
10. Arrange Transportation.
It's likely this task may fall at the bottom of your list, or even worse, slip your mind. But of course, you'll need a way to get to the wedding venue and back. The last thing you'll want to do is ask your guests to call cabs at the end of the reception. Ask your future mother in law to help set this up once you know logistics for your venue and hotel.
11. Lend a hand with the registry.
If your mother in law has good taste or knows how to decorate well, get her involved with picking out the items you should register for. Besides it checking off something major on your to-do list, it will make her feel like she has an instrumental part in helping you start your lives together.
12. Come with you to a dress fitting.
It'll mean the world to your future mother-in-law if you invite her to one of your dress fittings. If you're nervous to have a lot of people see you in your dress beforehand, make the fitting social media- and picture-free.