When a friend or relative announces that they are getting married, it’s natural to get excited. A groom-to-be is an exciting person to know! There are endless possibilities awaiting their lives ahead and months of wedding planning with cake tastings, tux fittings, and honeymoon planning on the horizon. It’s only natural to talk to the groom about any number of things, but some things are better left unspoken. There are some phrases and topics of conversation that may seem like loving jokes or compliments that are actually a little eyebrow-raising. The groom is happy! Let him live his life and enjoy his relationship.
1. “Are you excited for the big night?”
Everyone kind of knows what the bride and groom do after the ceremony, but bringing it up is in poor taste. Let the poor couple be.
2. “Can I make a toast?”
If the groom wants you to make a wedding toast, he’ll ask. And, please, don’t ask this question on the actual day of the wedding after you’ve already had a few signature cocktails.
3. “Aren’t you sad that this is it for you?”
Unless the betrothed couple have a special agreement (which is none of your business), the groom is well aware that his new wife is the only person he’ll be with for the rest of his life. Most likely, he’s totally happy with this decision.
4. “Dude… Remember [insert ex here]?”
Bringing up an ex in the days or weeks leading up to a wedding is awkward and unnecessary. The groom is perfectly happy with his choices in life, so really, what’s the point?
5. “I’m surprised you’re actually getting married.”
You may have known the groom since he was knee high to a grasshopper or you may have met him in college when he was just a bachelor living in his own mess and dating loads of girls. But he’s a grown man now and has made a mature decision. People change!
6. “It’s your last moment of freedom! Run!”
Marriage is something to celebrate. It’s not a death sentence. So don’t be that guy.
7. “Your wife looks so hot.”
This seems like a compliment, but it’s fairly demeaning to the groom’s new wife. The word you’re looking for is “beautiful.”
8. “How’d you manage to nail that one down?”
Though this phrase can be seen as a compliment to the groom’s future spouse, it does so while putting him down.
9. “The Ol’ Ball and Chain”
Get it? Because marriage is like working on an old-fashioned chain gang! Aren’t ladies just the worst?!
10. “So, which of the bridesmaids is single?”
Two guests hooking up at a wedding is really only going to bring drama into the bride and groom’s life. So, sure, that bridesmaid may look cute, but she’s obviously close with the groom’s new wife. Leave her alone.
11. “Why aren’t you just eloping?”
There’s this whole belief out in the ether that women are the only ones who care about planning weddings, while grooms would rather just elope and get it all over with. But a wedding is essentially a big party with tons of loved ones around. Why wouldn’t a man enjoy that?
12. “Do your in-laws like you?”
The groom was pretty sure he got along great with his in-laws until you brought it up. Thanks!
Don’t talk about divorce statistics, your parents’ divorce, your own divorce, or anything related to divorce. Just don’t.
14. “How much did this all cost you?”
Talking money is always tacky. OK, maybe the groom would have preferred to buy a new car for the cost of his wedding. But the cost per head is none of your business.
15. “You’re having an open bar, right?”
Cash bars are an emerging trend and while we all favor open bars, they’re by no means necessary. Asking this question makes you look 1) a little “thirsty” and 2) entitled and rude.